Blog, Family

“Part 3: Raising Godly Daughters”

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Only With Jesus, We Are Made Holy:

More and more, I’m hearing even in Christian places, that we need to tell our girls (or kids in general) that phrase, “you are enough.” That they are perfect, just the way they are. Sounds harmless enough right? Well, I don’t think so. We are truly not enough, on our own. That is the whole reason we have and need Jesus as our Savior, because we would crash and burn without Him. If you want to tell your children that they are enough, don’t forget to add it’s only through, and with Jesus that, that is true. Not on our own, and not because of ourselves, but because of Him.

We are only made enough, and made whole when we accept Jesus Christ as our Lord and Savior. Only then, are we washed clean of our horrible sins.

Worth Mentioning, To Our Daughters:

  • The Lord will lead you before any man will, and He always will. So, put your trust in Him, if you’re worried about not finding the “love of your life.”
  • Don’t revolve around men, in your searching. Revolve around a man, the Lord Jesus Christ. 
  • We should never become unequally yoked with a man, because we gave up our search for a Godly one. Do not settle for someone, who isn’t a God-fearing man.
  • Don’t mix up perfect, and Godly, as the same thing, because it surely, is not. Don’t look for a perfect man; there isn’t one.
  • Creating relationship with God, and then searching for a good, Godly man to marry and start a family with, is how we should use our time of singleness.
  • Jesus is what makes us whole, not ourselves, anything, or anybody on earth will fill that gap.
  • If you are struggling with sexual temptations, do not try to fight it all on your own, call upon the Lord for help, and seek help from those close to you, so they can keep you accountable in your actions and pray for you!

Notes, For The Parents:

  • Always leave the door open for children to ask questions about anything.
  • Encourage the whys, and encourage the hows! Even if you have to do research on the answers! 
  • Our children will gain confidence in their faith, through our confidence in challenging the word of the world, against the word of God. We just have to show them!
  • Put in the work, and research the answers to the tough questions they ask! They need to see us as a Christian, try.
  • Them waiting a little bit for an answer, is much better than a pointless, quick reply to get them out of your hair.
  • They are going to need that, because their faith will be tested.
  • Teach them the truth, before the world can teach the lies.
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One Truth, and One God, Jesus Christ.

There is one truth, and one God. Everyone is always saying “what is your truth?” how do you, define things? It’s all about you; how you feel, and what you want. The world is becoming more and more selfish, as time goes on— relying on feelings to dictate decisions, and it has masked it to look like, compassion. If you are found disagreeing with “their truth,” you are outcasted as a person of hatred with little, to no compassion for others. That is a lie, straight out of hell. Unfortunately, the easiest way to make friends and relationships, is to agree, condone, or accept “their truth.” It can be very difficult to make friends, if you do not, do that.

I encourage you,

Do not give into the lie that is “you are not loving”, or even christianly, when you tell someone they are being sinful, against the Lord. If you see someone acting in sin, encourage them to stop, pray, and repent. If we allow feelings of “they will hate me, if I say they are wrong”, or “they will be so hurt with what I have to say.” etc, to dictate how we do things, we will surely be lost. Jesus probably hurt many feelings, when he told the truth.

Matthew 9:12 (ESV) “but when he heard it, he said, “those who are well have no need of a physician, but those who are sick.” I encourage you to read this chapter, in Matthew! We always hear that Jesus is “a friend of sinners”. He walked among them, and ate with them, but I don’t think he was a, by definition “friend“. At least not until they allowed him to change, their hearts and started following him. In this, it talks about him sitting with tax collectors, he refers to himself as “a physician helping the sick”. Maybe I’ll keep this topic for another time, but it is something to ponder over, and research more on!

I believe we can be honest, and kind at the same time. “Short term pain, long term gain.” Someone, somewhere, said that phrase and it stuck with me. Better to be hurt temporarily by the truth, than to hurt forever, because of a sin. so, teach or continue teaching your girls to be bold in their faith, and to be kind while doing it!

I think this is extremely important, for our children to know. As our daughters make friends and create relationships, they need to know to keep their faith in Jesus the top priority. Not to cower, or let go of the Lord’s word just to make a friendship, or to keep a relationship. If it means letting go of people to stay faithful, then so be it. It hurts, I understand all too well, but it may be necessary.

Great for the whole fam, it is an easy read. I recommend!

Another, Matthew 16:23 (ESV) “But he turned and said to Peter, “Get behind me, Satan! You are a hindrance to me. For you are not setting your mind on the things of God, but on the things of man.” Now, I am not saying to go around calling everyone the devil, but I am pointing out Jesus, did not hesitate to put Peter back in his place, when he saw he was in the wrong. Can you imagine, during that time especially, calling someone “the devil” must have been a huge shock to the system!

While “the truth can hurt” is a cliche phrase, it isn’t wrong. Sometimes it is really hard to hear, that we are being sinful, or in error. I would personally, much rather be told to look at the destruction I’m causing and try to fix it, than live like that without knowing, and face God’s wrath, because of it. Although, unfortunately some people will still knowingly choose destruction, regardless.

Lets teach our girls, to not rely on feelings, to make a decision. Feelings do not always line up, even when a correct decision is made, and even when we have compassion for a situation. Our own desires (whether Godly ones, or not) do not even always line up with what God says, or His plans for us! We need to always rely on the Lord, and the Lord’s word. You can still care for someone and disagree with them, and you can completely desire something like a marriage, for example, and that may not be the Lord’s plan for you. So I encourage you, just trust Him, and do not worry about tomorrow!

Teach your children to be skeptical! The Lord encourages us to test everything! (so test what I’m saying too!) and that especially means testing things that seem God-sent! Even the Devil knows the Bible (and knows the churches), even he can make you feel calm, and nice inside.

1 Thessalonians 5:21 ESV “but test everything; hold fast to what is good.”

We are born into sin, yes, but because of God we do not have to give in, to sin.

There are a couple topics I will touch on again in the future, individually, but in due time! I’m sure you have tons to bring up about raising Godly, young men and how they should also be brought up, because I do too! but that is set aside for a whole other discussion as well. Presently, my husband and I don’t even have a son, although we both hope too one day! However, regardless of that, I will write about raising young men too! So, hold tight to the Lord, and be bold in faith, because young girls (and even young guys) need to see that kind of fearlessness, right now.

Blog, Family

“Part 2: Raising Godly Daughters”

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Raising my Daughter

I understand that a lot of women (not all) these days, think men are horrible, perverted, dominating creatures and while that may be true for some men, that’s also true for some women too, lest you forget. There are just bad people in this world, and we can’t use them as an excuse to treat the entire population of men (or population of women) like they are the exact same. Not everyone is so, horribly perverted. 

“I can do all things through Christ…”

  I will raise my daughter to know that she is preparing for a man that will raise children, and love the Lord well, with her. Most often, I hear that women don’t need a man bossing them around, or taking control over them. It’s the “I can do everything myself, and no man gets to tell me what to do” way of thinking. That perspective will lead you down a self-righteous, selfish path. It is only through, and because of God that anything is made possible, so we should not lead a life, with the view of being our own boss. If we lead ourselves, it will surely be straight into sin.

Lets raise our daughters to respect men, and to help them understand that good men, respect and honor us too. Teach them to first, be for God, and secondly, to find a husband who will lead them to God.

As a mother, it is our job to show our daughters what a mother should be like; how to nurture, how to care for others, and how to be a Godly wife. If you’re a father, it is your job to show your daughters what a Godly man looks like, and how they provide and protect the household. Good men lead you to the Lord, take care of you, and protect you from harm. Together as both parents, we need to show our children what a Godly marriage looks like, when the Lord is the foundation.  

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The enemy hates marriage, and he hates family, because it is something God loves and blesses people with. He tries to tear it all apart using the world, as his accomplice. The world, encourages you to give in to all of your temptations to sin, it encourages anything that dishonors God. Getting you to stray from your marriage, and family in this day and age is unfortunately, an easy task for the devil. So, our children need all the guidance they can get from us.

Let’s keep our eyes on the Lord, so our children can be encouraged to do the same. The enemy does not care if you idolize him in the process, he just wants you to idolize anything, but God.

Sexual Sin:

The world right now, is very sexual. It is all about bodies, and what to do with them. I won’t go too far into how they encourage these kinds of behaviors, because we can all use our imagination on how they spread this around, but it encourages sex and sexual behavior to our young children and it is just going to get worse. We need to be proactive in talking and having discussions with them on what and why, certain things are sinful, and what God truly designed sex for. Because, he did indeed, design it!

1 Corinthians 10:31 (ESV) “So, whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God.”

I encourage parents to leave openings for these kinds of conversations, and even have weekly discussions on these topics. Especially, if any of your children are in public schools! It may seem difficult if you aren’t in the habit of doing so, but it is quite easy to get in the habit of discussing worldly issues, and what the Bible says. My husband and I do it almost daily. Debates are fun, at our house! and we firmly believe they are a healthy thing to exercise! Proverbs 27:17 (ESV) “Iron sharpens iron, and one man sharpens another.”

On my list to read next as well!

I encourage you,

Welcome debates on any worldly issues vs God’s word with your kids! It will build confidence, and help them learn to combat those faith-testing questions they will get in the future! Worldly “truths” VS the truth!

What If I Don’t Find Someone?

Can a woman live a blessed and happy life, if she never finds and gets married to a good man? Yes, absolutely! It’s called celibacy. We are blessed, as soon as we accept Jesus into our hearts. We don’t need a marriage, for that. The good news is, the Lord loves to bless people with families! He loves the unity/covenant made between a husband and a wife. So, instead of instilling into our daughters that they can do without a man entirely, and that they can love whenever and whoever they want in replacement, let’s change our perspective away from that negative, and unbiblical outlook. We all, need God.

Be Encouraging:

It’s not a sin to have temptations towards sinful things, it becomes a sin when you act upon them. So let’s help lift up our children to the Lord, especially if and when they start to have those temptations.

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Encourage young girls, to prepare for a marriage and family, to be a wife one day, and encourage them to find a good, Godly man. Church groups and many people i’ve seen, have a tendency to emphasize singleness, but they never emphasize that it’s a time of preparation, before starting a family. It’s as if they are scared their young congregation will be lovestruck over every guy (or gal, if you’re a guy) if they emphasize finding one, while young. Maybe not every place does this, but i’ve personally seen a common theme.

 Churches, maybe subconsciously, encourage young adults to stay single, by staying away from guidance and advice on marriage to young adults/teen, and the world encourages any sexual behavior. You put two and two together and what does that get you?

I’m not against being in a season of singleness, I think there are still plenty people (and have been plenty people) who have lived celibate, in their walk with Christ and that’s great! Everyone is in a season of singleness, at least once in their lives, and it is beneficial! However, I do believe that the Lord gives us that time to get close to Him, prepare for a family, and start our “search.” We don’t have to revolve around guys, and be that “obsessed girl after everyone in her sight” in order to do so either! It isn’t unbiblical to use that time to prepare for marriage and a family; for women to seek a husband, and men to seek a wife and to stay pure for your future significant other, until you’re married! All this to say, you must first and foremost, seek the Lord, and continue to do so, married or not!

Marriage may not be a part of everyones life, but I do think it’s still something we can make sure we are at least ready for, if it does happen! Especially, by counseling teens/young adults, about marriage! I know people make mistakes and sometimes things have already been done, but that is why the Lord forgives! and that is why we need to forgive. Whether it be forgiving someone else, or ourselves for things we’ve done in the past, If you are burdened by a sexual sin, I encourage you to pray, repent, forgive, and move on. 

Being able to give that example to our children, especially in this sexually driven world is worth so much.   

To be continued..

Blog, Family

“Part 1: Raising Godly Daughters”

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Uniquely Made:

Men and women are made for each other. Women are not made for women, and men are not made for men. Women can give birth and become mothers; men cannot. Men, can become fathers, they can go out and work hard, grueling hours of painful, physical labor; women cannot. We were not made to go out to do what men do, or even try to be a father to our children. Men are not meant to try to be the mothers either. We [women] were made to do what we are specifically designed for; Wifehood, motherhood, caretaking, nurturing, homemaking etc.

Feminism:

I’m not a feminist whatsoever. I will not agree with, or raise my daughter(s) to stand for something that takes away the exact thing it thinks its standing for; femininity. We don’t have to be naked to be feminine. We don’t have to hate men, to be feminine, and we shouldn’t idolize ourselves as “a goddess” like this world promotes, so often. We should not promote such things to our girls. We are beautiful already and we are very strong, in our own ways. We are not men, and we are definitely not a god.  

Why do women have to make it a competition against men, on “who is better?”

Are women so insecure about themselves, that they feel the need to become men, or to prove they are better than? or even just to prove they are better than everyone (men and women) by trying to become something, entirely made up?

Not Made To Be The Same:

Men and women are not made to be the same, both have strengths that the other does not. That is the beauty of the entire thing! That’s one of the many reasons why a man and a woman are meant to be together. They compliment each other the exact way, God intended them to. Ephesians 5:31 (ESV) “Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.”

The blessing that we have as women to carry a child, and have our bodies go through those processes (our cycles, our pregnancies, and even through our struggles with both); be encouraged in that, because a man could never do that! If you’re a man be encouraged in the hard work you do to provide and protect your family; be encouraged in being the head of the house, that you can father your children, because a woman could never take the place of a dad!

As a woman, I am so grateful to my husband for doing that painful, hard, physical labor and being a father to our child. It is a true blessing and God-given privilege to have someone who protects us and provides for our family. A woman is meant to be cared for by a husband who protects and provides for her and their children. The Lord intended for there to be that unity, of marriage and family. It’s a true, blessing. Now, this isn’t to say that people who are living as celibate for example, aren’t blessed, if you love the Lord as your savior, then you’re already blessed! Marriage isn’t what brings forth blessings into your life, the Lord is who brings the blessings, into your life.

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I will raise my daughter to know that men are the leaders of families and we honor them as such. I will also teach her, that a God-fearing man will honor and respect a woman as the delicate, yet strong heir of the grace of life that we are.

The Verses:

–  1 Peter 3:7 (ESV) “Likewise, husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way, showing honor to the woman as the weaker vessel, since they are heirs with you of the grace of life, so that your prayers may not be hindered.”

Ephesians 5:22 (ESV) “Wives submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord.”

Eph 5:25 (ESV) “Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her,”

Titus 2:4-5 (ESV) “and so train the young women to love their husbands and children, to be self controlled, pure, working at home, kind, and submissive to their own husbands that the word of God may not be reviled.”

This scripture in Titus, goes on to talk about sons as well, but that is not what we are discussing today. All of these verses I used, are ones I’ve personally heard people use when they are arguing against men and women’s specific commands, from the Lord. 

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Breaking Down The Verses:

I know a lot of people just think that the Bible says that women are weak, submissive, and all they do is slave away to men. In reality, that is far from the truth. 

Women are held, and should be held in honor and respect, as it says! When God grants that authority to men (or authority to anyone in general) it is always for the blessing of protection of those under it. Anybody who uses their God-given authority to their own advantage at the cost of those under it, will have to answer to the Lord who gave it to them in the first place; men, government, anyone.

Most people just see “women— weak.” If you have the biblical understanding that men are the leaders of their families, then you should be able to understand that when it says “weaker vessel” it is because we are physically weaker, than men. It also says, we are heirs. Men are supposed to show honor to the women, because we are the heirs of the grace of life with them, how can we always skip over that part?

The commands given to the men, are for a husband to love his wife (Ephesians 5:25, ESV). When the husband’s authority is mentioned here, it is simply stated as a fact, not a command. The Lord didn’t say “husbands, go practice your authority over your wives” He did say “love your wives.”

From a biblical perspective, women are to be the mothers, caretakers, and homemakers. While the men are to be the fathers, providers, and protectors. Both are to be honored and respected.

This is the study guide version! I will get this for our family as well, for dinner time talk!

We [women] are put under our husband’s authority, because they are meant to be the head of the house just, as Christ is the head of the church (Ephesians5:23). If both husband and wife focus on their God-given responsibilities to one another, and take care of their relationship, there will be peace, and not a war between the two. Obviously, we are not a sinless, perfect people, but the point of this is, biblical women are not meant to be “slaves”, and biblical men are not meant to be their abuser.

As well as, only men are meant to be the father, just as only women are meant to be the mother, of their family.

So when we raise our daughters up, let’s teach them, and show them how to be the wife the Lord has intended for us to be. If you are a husband and father, teach and show your daughters how the Lord intended a Godly man to be as well! As we teach our daughters about wifehood and motherhood, it is not just us moms, but the dads too, that need to show them a great example of what a husband and wife should be. We must provide a Godly example of these things, to our children!

The world is not going to do it for us, let alone, help us in any way.

To be continued..