Blog, Family

“Our Little Girl, and Why There Are No Portraits.”

First beach trip. A success! (this live sand dollar was put back)

The Reasoning:

My Husband and I have always been fairly private people, only telling close friends and family the details of our life. With starting a blog that is about our life, I knew we would be sharing much more than we’re used to. While public/social platforms can bring encouragement, inspiration, and help connect people. It can also bring unwanted attraction, and it has people on it who will, and do violate other’s privacy. While there is a lot of good people, there unfortunately will always be bad people too.

Our child is still pretty young, barely a year old! My husband and I have made the decision to keep her and future kid’s faces, off the blog and off social platforms. The wide web does have its perks, but because of the dangers that it holds and how easy it can be to find things and people by using it, we are just trying to be cautionary to keep our sweet, little ones safe. We will try to keep their faces off the internet’s feed, for as long as we can. Social media, does collect our personal information and that’s not something we feel too comfortable with, especially when it comes to our children. 

We know that there is already information and photos about our life on these platforms and such, but because our child hasn’t really been on there yet, we want to give her a fresh start away from social platforms. We also don’t want to continue to feed those collections with our personal photos, and information. Unfortunately, it is dangerously easy to find out anything about whoever you want, through public records and social media. All you really need is some free time, and patience to dig into the past.

Nature walks, with her Daddy. Who obviously, is in deep thought.

As For Us:

We’ve both had social media accounts and have had our pictures everywhere so we are much more loose with our own photos, just because they are already on everything anyways. We will most definitely still talk about how we raise our kids, and kid-related things on this blog and social platforms. They will also be known on our Rabbitry page too! The only difference is, you won’t see portraits of them or know too much personal details about them. I understand the mystery of that! but we like it better this way, at least for now. 

Reminder:

If you are one of the many parents out there that does it differently, we are not trying to attack you at all! Like I said before, social platforms can be a great way to connect, especially if you have relatives or close friends that you don’t get to see often! We are just sharing our personal reasons, so that it doesn’t seem too weird that we say we have a child, but then her cute little face, is never shown.

Our future:

Right now, we are trying to find a balance between blogging about our life, and not sharing too much at the same time! As our child gets older, and we have more kids, we might reconsider putting up all their photos, but it will be a while. So I hope you still enjoy these other photos that I try to add! Our little one is still a very big part of our life, obviously, so I can’t leave her out of the blog, too much. On that note, I will add just a couple fun facts! 

Her name is Beatrice, and we love her so! She has much to learn, but knows everything somehow as an almost one year old. We can’t wait to have more little ones, and fill our house with more little smiling faces! So again, everyone does it differently, and I hope you enjoy the pictures I will add in replacement to all the, more personal portraits.

Blog, Family

“Preparing For, and Choosing to Homeschool.”

Most of these books are linked below! However all are good reads!

Why We Want to Homeschool:

If you think about it, we have been teaching since our babies were born. It makes sense to just keep the ball rolling. Personally, I believe it’s our duty, as parents to guide children in all ways. Towards the Lord, and through life. I don’t believe the world is doing a very good job at such, or that it should be doing that job at all. We can’t rely on others to teach our children, while we sit back and watch. Our schools are taking it upon themselves, to teach its worldly views, and to install into our children’s minds that they are anything, but the image of God

Now please note, that’s not to say that every teacher is bad, or that your kid is going to come out of it with no smarts or even that they will leave their faith after, but I do think the schools highly encourage all of that. I know Christian people who went to public school and turned out just fine. However, we need to be the ones equipping our children with a strong, Godly foundation before the world tries to equip them with it’s faithless, lies. I don’t believe putting children in public school is encouraging their Christian walk, or that it is beneficial for our kids at all. Why are we as parents, scared to take them away from the danger that public school holds? We our their parents, and we are their teachers. Not the government, and not the schools.

Nothing in the school system being taught, is something that as a Christian, I can agree with. So, I will not put my children into it. While I do have honest, personal opinions, I’m not attacking those who chose to put their kids in public schools. If that is what you chose, or are choosing to do, then that is your choice as their parent! I just highly encourage you to think about why you are, and what your child will gain from it’s teachings. You don’t have to have a fancy college degree, to be successful. Lots of billionaires have proved that, already. Beside’s my obvious distain against public schools, I do just personally love homeschooling. My husband and I both have been homeschooled in the past, and want to with our children, as well. 

If you have decided to do public school;

I just encourage you parents, to give your children constant guidance along the way, because it will be very difficult for them, as a Christian! I encourage you to be very communicative with your children about what is being taught daily, and what the Lord says about it! Young children especially! If you don’t agree with the schools, but don’t know what else to do, there are plenty of homeschool groups that will gladly help you! and the Lord will guide you, so have no fear! If they have little to no guidance from you, how will they ever combat the worldly lies that they are being taught with in and from schools?

How We Are Prepping:

Right now, we have one, almost one year old. I personally like to somewhat plan ahead if not a full plan, then at least most of one. So while our daughter is still anxiously trying to learn to talk more, walk and run, I am anxiously trying to prepare for what we will do for her major homeschooling! I have read a few books while I was pregnant and on a side note, during pregnancy is when I found out I actually do enjoy reading books! Anyways, the books I read were so good! I will list a few down below that I would recommend to anyone. 

Homeschooling or not, I definitely think the ones listed for the mothers will help any parent, (especially those who have their kids in public schools).

As of right now, it’s more so just lots of reading to her, following along on others journey’s in homeschooling, listening to songs while we play, and looking at different curriculums/ideas to teach. I see homeschooling as much more than just math, english, history, etc. It’s complete guidance, in general that we are giving our children. So when I research, I’m researching how to guide Godly children, not just ideas for the required classes, at home.

When I was homeschooled, my mother had followed the traditional school year’s schedule, but I have heard many others just make their own schedule that worked for them. It all depends on what, and how you want to do it. Some only did certain “classes” one day a week, while others did the same “class” 3-4 days a week. Honestly, you can do whatever, because the options are unlimited with teaching from home.

Books I Recommend For The Moms:

Culture-proof kids linked here! Great book and I highly recommend both parents read it! It’s on Amazon, along with these others shown below!

Great read to better understand what the Founding Fathers were doing for the US and to learn some of our country’s history.
So great for homeschooling mamas!
Will always recommend this one, for any mama
This book, is great for both parents. Perfect conversation starter between parents and kids!

Books I Recommend For The Kids: Mostly fun ones!

We love all of these stories, for our Beatrice!
What we are reading to learn the ABC’S, and it’s also a song!
Going to get for our little one, soon!
A bible for kids, we have bought this one as well!

Reading these books really gave me great ideas, and encouraged me as a mom. I know I will be (and have already) referring back to them later in the future. Books will be our main source of teaching/learning for a long while. They are already something we enjoy doing to teach our daughter now! Reading is such a simple, efficient way of teaching them, because you can read anything. If you have a kid (or kids) you know how much they soak things in. I believe the phrase is, “children are like a sponge.”  So let’s provide them with all the goods to soak up!

Whether you have a kid, or you are trying to prepare because it’s in the near future, I encourage you to read! You might find you actually like it, if you don’t already. We are major influences on our children, that is a fact. They are more likely to pick up a book, or at least want you to read it to them, if they are too young to read it themselves. I can’t wait to pick out more books as time goes on, and our Beatrice gets older. So don’t mind me, periodically sharing a stack of books for kids and their moms here and there!

Family

“Part 3: Young Mom.”

We got through the first two topics, here we are at being a “young mom.” I’ve always known I would be a mom. I grew up with lots of siblings, so maybe that encouraged it, but I’m confident it was always going to be that way, regardless. A stay-at-home mom specifically, is going to be the topic. One who chooses to be at home 24/7 taking care of the kids and house, although she could go and work in any career. I became a mom, when I had our baby just after my 19th birthday!

Becoming a Mom, Among Friends:

Being pregnant while hanging out with groups of friends is difficult, mainly for physical limitations during activities, but it was also just hard to relate to everyone. I still could have conversations of course, but it was hard to find a common, relatable topic between us. We couldn’t really relate to each other anymore. Not many people are married and pregnant at 18 for one, and even the ones who wanted that in the future, were not quite yet interested in conversations that consist of such. Eventually, the friends that were more so acquaintances in a group of many, began to dissipate to go do other things, as did I.

I am a bigger fan of small, close-knit groups, rather than big groups of people you only have small talk with anyways. My husband is the opposite ironically, and loves big groups. The main reason people go to group activities with their friends is because they all relate in some way and enjoy doing whatever the activity is. You can have friends that are in different phases of life, but I think it’s good to also have friends who you can relate with as well. I think it’s just a matter of finding a new balance among them, through big changes in life.

Priorities change:

I’ve heard this from many, even my husband felt this way, that women feel more like a parent earlier in the pregnancy, due to carrying the child and having the physical effects. Where as the man, usually starts feeling the impact when he can feel the baby move, see it on ultrasounds, and then obviously the birth. The point is, usually the woman is treated as a parent earlier, so you get the effects of certain changes sooner. That’s what happened with us anyways. My friendships changed and/or just drifted apart a lot sooner than his did, just because some of the friends and I just couldn’t relate anymore. Our priorities were changing, but as they should! 

Thoughts:

I think that change is a part of life, and it’s not bad that having a baby changed relationships with certain people and didn’t with others. That is just how life works, when a big moment in your life happens. That shouldn’t scare you into not doing it at all though. Being a mom is an important job. It is the best job a woman can do! Becoming a mother, while young was a decision my husband and I made confidently, that it wouldn’t have mattered what people would have said anyways. The Lord loves children, He says they are a blessing! We should never treat them as a burden or curse.

Nevertheless, I know some people disagreed or thought it was crazy when I got pregnant. Getting married so quickly, it was obvious some people thought it was only because we had already gotten pregnant. Regardless, it was expected to happen, if I wasn’t already. Most people’s opinions this time around fell silent, nothing discouraging, but nothing encouraging either, which wasn’t all that bad. Try not to let people who are negative about becoming a mom, weigh in on your decision. I’m keeping the reminder on here, that everyone has different timing in life, and don’t discourage becoming a mom entirely if that’s what someone desires. The world does that enough for everyone already! Biblically speaking, I don’t think it’s wrong at all and I encourage starting your family as a young adult, if that’s what you and your husband want, and if possible of course.

Highly recommend this book. SO good!

Family:

It changes your entire perspective on things, watching someone grow and to be able to teach them about life. Planning to have or having any more than 3 kids, having them quick, and having them young is all (most times) considered, odd. My question is, why does it have to be? I don’t think it has to be considered a bad decision, or a regretful one, so long as you keep walking towards the Lord with the decisions you make. As for friends, I still have a couple great friends who aren’t in the same boat as me. In fact are younger, going into college and focusing on school! So it’s definitely possible to have and make it work with friends who are doing different things, but the point of this is, don’t be surprised to find that you lose some, and make new friends when you start having a family.

Overall:

It will be inevitable to drift from certain people, but it’s usually making room for new people to come into your life! That’s one of the reasons I made this is because I know the struggles of finding people who relate. Most 20 year old women, aren’t really starting families with their husbands, not in my area anyways! In my opinion there should be more young women and men getting married and starting their families, especially in the Christian community! but that is just my opinion.

Big decisions, cause big changes, and it’s not always a bad thing! Your family will automatically become your [new] top priority, if it wasn’t already! That’s one thing my husband and I talked through before marriage, was how do we see ourselves raising our kids? Are there differences, or are we on the same page? That was so beneficial to communicate beforehand, instead of pushing it off to do later, after marriage. There are obvious things that we wouldn’t know until having a baby, but we needed to be on the same page, all the same.

Like I said before, is there really a reason to wait if it’s something you want anyways? Beside’s certain physical or health limitations, why wait? If you’re waiting for the “perfect time,” It’s probably never going to be “the perfect time.” As my husband always says, “there will always be reasons or excuses, not to.” Regardless of when you have kids though, just know that they are a true blessing, and it’s okay for things to change around you.

Blog, Family

“Part 2: Young Wife.”

You Read it Right:

If you read anything on the About page or even on my Introduction post, you probably thought, “did she really say she got married after 5 months?” or you did the math really quick and calculated that I was just 18 years old when I got married. If that’s what you did, then yes it was only 5 months, and yes, I was 18. 

Actually, both of our parents got married young, (and are still married 20+ years later) and my parents got engaged within a month or so of knowing each other. I guess you could say because of that, we never found it odd to do something along those lines. I was never really encouraged to go find a husband at 18 years old and leave as soon as I could, but I was encouraged to find a man of God to marry, who I could commit to live a life with. My husband was also, always encouraged similarly.

Ironically, we moved just 10 minutes away from him in April 2015. I crossed over the same friend groups and places plenty of times, but never heard of him until May 2019, when a friend of ours said she knew a good guy named Bergen, who I might like. By the way, I was definitely not looking for a guy at this time, but for some reason I decided it couldn’t harm anything to meet him, and just see what happened. Pretty simple story really, got set up by our friend, met at her bonfire, went on a date, and now we’re here! and all because of the Lord!

Becoming a Wife:

To me, being a wife is staying home to take care of the household and to “nurture the home.” While that is not always seen as a good thing, and is often looked down upon to do (and to think). An already difficult path to take in this society becomes harder when doing it at say, 18 years old. This society, makes it look like a rougher path. It discourages being a wife, and starting a family young because we are supposed to go date around, go be free from the chains of a husband and child(ren). Surprisingly, even in the Christian community, you don’t hear about how we should use our singleness to prepare for marriage and a family while being young that often anymore. We [as women] are supposed to be dependent on only ourselves, not a man, and should not have children, at least not until we are completely fulfilled with our careers first. Says, the world.

This one is next on my list of “books to read.”

Although, not everyone is like this, and not every Christian either. There are wives who are mothers and have careers, who are mothers who work from home, and mothers who are also just full time stay-at-home too! Every family is different. Biblically, it’s a woman’s strong-suit to nurture, be the caretaker and obviously, have the children. Where as a man’s strong suit, is providing, protecting, and working hard for his family. It’s beautiful, to think each one is sacrificing for the other, while following the Lord together. 

As a woman, never settle for a man who isn’t Godly. A woman needs a man who will lead her towards the Lord, not away from Him. A good sign that he is, would be if he is comfortable and willing to openly talk about the Lord in your free-time. Use this season of singleness as an opportunity to search for a willing and open guy that you can have those conversations with! If you’re ignoring a red flag, getting married won’t change someone’s mind on any said topic, (for example, like the number of kids to have). Luckily, red flags don’t always mean a done deal! I just encourage you to talk through those red flags, and make any compromises before marriage, so it doesn’t cause a rocky foundation to start with. One of the for sure signs that my husband was the one was, he immediately asked about my views, and wanted to talk about the Lord, and face to face, not over a text or anything. The important part is, he initiated those conversations at first, and he put in that work for our relationship to grow! I will note, that is not an excuse for the woman to be lazy, we absolutely need to work for it too!

Going forward down this path and becoming a young wife, I was confident about my decision, but not everyone around me was. Even in friend groups of other Christians, it was hard because it’s still not the normal thing to do. When you become a wife, to stay home when you don’t have kids yet is “weird.” We knew having a baby was in the very near future, so there was no point for me to get a job, when I would leave it to stay home with our baby anyways. We knew we stood firm in our decision, so we didn’t care too much what people said about it.

A Big Decision:

It is a commitment, a big decision, it is something that takes communication, prayer, and much thought, but is worth it all the same. I hear a lot that it’s [marriage] a “ball and chain, so you’ll regret it” which may be so when it isn’t done for the right reasons, but when you do it the right way, for the right reasons, its really the opposite. You should feel confident about your decision, you both should! Which is why I think it’s great to start preparing for that future now, while young. Why wait to get married and start your family? If you have found a great “potential husband” (or potential wife, if you’re a man that’s reading) for you, is there a reason?

Being a Wife:

I feel so much joy in the fact that I am caring for my husband and our household. It’s an important job that no one should take lightly. If you are thinking the same, I just want to let you know, society will get over it, the group of friends will let it go eventually, and if you both know you are following the Lord, then what’s it matter if it flusters a few people? If it’s also family you’re flustering, I know how hard it can be, but if it’s the Lord’s plan, then they too will be okay, in time. If you are on the opposite side of things and think we and others are crazy, thats okay too! I understand not everyone thinks this way. Like I was saying previously, even among an all Christian group, it wasn’t fully accepted. Everyone is different, this is just the perspective of one, young wife.

Blog, Family

“Part 1: Young Marriage.”

Why Wait?

Fast forward to the engagement, which was only 6-7 weeks after meeting My (future) husband Bergen. Obviously, I said yes. We had talked about everything important, we knew what our beliefs were, and what we wanted from the other. We were on the same page with everything. I mean, truly, what was the point in waiting to get married?  We didn’t see any point to it, so we got engaged and set the wedding date for 3 months later! (I wanted an outdoor wedding, but it still most likely wouldn’t have been that much longer, had I wanted different). We had a small wedding in late summer/early fall, and it was the best time. We had tons of support, we both have big families, with lots of siblings, and so we were definitely encouraged throughout that whole time, which was a huge blessing. However, because we were so young and so quick to our decision we had also been discouraged as well.

From a christian’s perspective, biblically, I think it’s perfectly fine to encourage getting married young, so long as you both have the Lord as your foundation and understand the commitment. I think because of all the bad experiences, and bad advice out there, there is a lot of fear about getting married young. Marriage and family is encouraged all throughout the Bible, it’s something the Lord loves! If you are one of the people who got married when you were older, or haven’t found a good guy (or girl) yet, thats okay too. It’s not the same timing for everyone. Unfortunately, we ended up with a handful of friends and a few of our relatives who were negative towards us and our decision. A lot of the relationships we had changed, or just ended up drifting away.

What People Said to Us, and Say to Others:

“You really should get in a few big fights, before you get married.”

“You should really go date around more first, and have some fun!” 

“You should go experience life more, and be young. I’d hate to see you give that up for a life of marriage and making a family.”

“Are you old enough for that?”

“That quick?”

There were also silent commenters, who just made faces of disagreement and shock. Some of these were said to us by our close relatives, and some from friends. Some of them really did try to talk us out of it. We also had a bad marriage counselor at first too, who seemed to have had a negative view on marriage, entirely. At the end of the day, we knew we loved each other, we trusted the Lord and were fully committed. We didn’t let it affect us too much, but it was a discouragement all the same. 

If you are in this same place in life, just know unfortunately, not everyone understands, and just try to stick with the people who do, and are encouraging you. If you know someone who is trying to get married young and you are unsure of their decision, I would say just encourage them to stay close to the Lord, pray about it more, and to talk things over with their future spouse. Let them know what you feel that is off. I would have loved that from the relatives and friends who didn’t agree with us, instead of discouraging the entire thing altogether, even with good intentions!

a fun devotional to do with your significant other!

As For Friends :

We are only 2 years into our marriage, but I still am very confident about my decision, as is my husband. Over these last couple years since meeting him, we’ve both drifted from friends and found that our big groups, have become fairly small since, and not all of it was because it ended badly! More often than not, we change seasons in our lives at different times, so people we meet come and go and thats okay. 

Getting married, Is a big life change, and doing so while young right now in this day and age, is not really seen as the normal thing to do. I think its because it is hard to find people who actually commit to things fully. Going out with a group of friends who are single and/or dating or starting their career jobs, while you’re married is hard to do at times, because it gets trickier to relate to them now— I say this because I believe the wife should stay at home and take care of the home (although, every family is different!).

  So while that doesn’t mean it does not work (because it still could), it’s just harder to relate to the most popular conversation topics. Especially if you’re focused on starting a family soon and they are not! Priorities change, and thats okay. Overall, if you’re in the same boat or know someone who is, just put trust in the Lord. It’s a new season. Getting married young is not a bad decision, and it shouldn’t be a regretful one. You just have to keep your relationship close to the Lord. And lastly, if you’re having a hard time letting things or people go, remember that new things are coming, and you have to make some room!