When it comes to movies, shows, social media, or anything of that sort, we as parents, get worried! We ask ourselves, if this show is too much language, violence, sexual content— what is truly safe or okay for our minds, and our children’s minds? My hope is that you don’t shy away from all media entirely after reading this, but that this can help guide you with what media you do take in!
First, Lets Examine Ourselves:
As parents, we know our children learn and copy things, from us. Whether they are 1 years old copying our head nods and dance moves, or 15 years old copying our attitudes, they do! I can say from experience, that I have copied my parents at times during my childhood and teen years by handling things the way I thought they would have, and I can also say from experience, my own 1 year old daughter copies me!
Obviously, there will be things that we do as adults our kids will not be able to do until they are older, or adults even. However, with communication and time, they should eventually understand those reasons. But we’re not talking about that. We’re talking about our reasoning as parents, for guidelines on what’s considered safe for their minds and why. As a parent, who is in the beginning of weeding out things for my daughter to watch or listen to, my husband and I have started it with a few questions;
- What have I been watching and allowing myself to see?
- Is there anything that is not glorifying to God for me to let into my mind whatsoever, in my movies, media, books, etc?
- If there is something, why am I continuing to watch/listen to it?
- is it because it doesn’t bother me physically/emotionally, so I don’t see any reason to stop?
- is it because it is fun, thrilling, or is enjoyable for me to watch/listen to?
4. What does the Lord say in scripture, about some of the main factors we see in media;
- Such as sexual content (any sex scenes, insinuative sexual innuendo, intimate couple scenes, nudity, etc), violence (any gruesome, graphic, gore, etc), and negative language (cursing, putting people down— any foul, negative, degrading talk).
We should first pinpoint what it is we have allowed to overstep into our own minds, before we oversee what will overstep in our children’s minds. There will of course, be plenty of media, that we just have to take the good from and throw out the bad; majority of it is like that, but there are also just certain things in the media that has no logical, nor biblical reasons to view or listen to, at all.
One of the things that helps me personally, and that I tend to think of first when it comes to sexual content in any kind of media I will be watching or listening to is;
If a couple were doing this in the mall or parking lot, would I just stand and watch them, or would I try not to look, and walk away? Think of it like that, a real scenario where you are actually witnessing 2 people like that, on a random day. Let’s break it down to what we know is true.
When it comes to sexual intimacy in our lives:
The Lord made sex/sexual intimacy to be a special, beautiful, union between husband and wife, only.
- Genesis 1:28 ESV “And God blessed them. And God said to them, “Be fruitful and multiply and fill the earth and subdue it, and have dominion over the fish of the sea and the birds of the heavens and over every living thing that moves on the earth.”
- Mark 10:6-9 ESV “But from the beginning of creation, ‘God made them male and female.’ ‘Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.’ So they are no longer two but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let no man separate.”
God made sexual intimacy, for us to enjoy in marriage to the fullest!
- 1 Corinthians 7:3-5 ESV “ The husband should give to his wife her conjugal rights, and likewise the wife to her husband. For the wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does. Likewise the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does. Do not deprive one another, except perhaps by agreement for a limited time, that you may devote yourselves to prayer; but then come together again, so that Satan may not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.”
- Any of Song of Solomons is also good example of the blessing of that union in marriage as well, I encourage you to read through that too!
We are not to act in sexual immorality.
- Matthew 5:27-28 ESV “You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall not commit adultery.’ But I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lustful intent has already committed adultery with her in his heart.”
- I also encourage you to read through Romans 1:18-32
- 1 Corinthians 6:18-19 ESV ” Flee from sexual immorality. Every other sin a person commits is outside the body, but the sexually immoral person sins against his own body. Or do you not know the body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, whom who have from God? You are not your own, for you were bought with a price. So glorify God in your body.”
Looking at scripture, we can confirm that any intimacy/sex is meant for a husband and wife to enjoy to the fullest, and that we are not to act in sexual immorality of any sorts. We can agree (I hope) that Pornography is bad, but then we go and watch sexual content and/or sex scenes in “regular” movies, or other media, why is that?
Another way to think of it as, is why would we bring in a third party, or become the third party to someone else’s intimacy, by watching it on a screen, or listening to it?
Does it truly matter, whether a certain sexual scene or scenario bothers us emotionally, or physically? What we should focus on instead, is whether we should be viewing it at all.
I encourage you:
- To read scripture on what the Lord intends intimacy/sex for, and what is true and not true about it.
- Then evaluate the media you are allowing into your own mind.
- Next, evaluate what media you will be allowing your children to view.
When it comes to our kids watching or listening to things, we need to be able to explain to them why we allow certain things and not others, and why we are watching things that we previously gave them a no, on. They need to understand the biblical reasoning behind those decisions, on filtering this, or that and why only certain things need to wait until they get older. Not just for sexual content, but for other things like language and violence as well, which is what we will be discussing next!
To Be Continued…