Blog, Family

“Being a Wife and Mother: Our Perspective and Mindset”

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I think we can all agree that most people (including myself) find it difficult to find the joy in certain aspects of their lives. For some, it’s the certain joys that come with being a wife and/or mother. We all have weak spots, and some of us have the same weaknesses, while others don’t. As a wife, I’ve personally struggled with patience and that results in a quick temper at times, because of the mindset I have had on my wifely responsibilities.

Too often, I have or hear other conversations where the comments one makes about being a mother, or being a wife are negative. It makes me wonder why I don’t hear more positive remarks when there is so much joy to be found! The topic, and question I’ve had heavily on my thoughts lately is; What is our perspective of being a wife/mother and do we have a healthy mindset about the responsibilities that come with being one or both of those things?

Some of the negative comments I hear and maybe you’ve heard before are:

Mother’s Comments:

  • “Just you wait for more kids, you’ll see how hard it is sometimes!”
  • “Just you wait, when you start having kids you’ll see how hard it is!”
  • “You’ll have days when you give up and let things slide too. That’s just how it goes with us veteran moms [who have years of experience]”
  • “I just don’t have the time and they just don’t listen; You’ll see when your kid gets older”
  • “The more kids you have, the less time you have!”

And because our two children will be a year and a half apart in age, I’ve now had other moms mention to me; 

“Oh, that’s going to be so difficult having two so close like that! It’s a struggle”

“Once the baby gets here you won’t have any time! You’ll just be chasing babies all day, you’ll see!”

Wive’s Comments: Some of these next ones have, regrettably, been my own thoughts/comments as a wife, and some of them I’ve heard from others.

  • “Why can’t you just pick up your own messes sometimes? It’s not that hard”
  • “All I do, is clean up everyone’s junk everyday, because everyone in here is too lazy.”
  • “I let my house go a long time ago, I’m too tired from taking care of all these kids to deal with it.”
  • “I made you dinner and I didn’t have to, so the least you could do is clean your mess for me.”
  • “I’m just too tired to do anything, so they’re his kids now while I get a break.”
  • “I just hate cooking! Why can’t you make your own food?”

Is this the kind of perspective we should have— let alone encourage others to have over our responsibilities as a wife/mother?

That the faults of our husbands (big or little) are and will be a burden to us, that our husbands actually owe us for being a wife to them, or for being the mother to their children. To immediately put the blame on anything/anyone else for our priorities being unorganized, or for our attitude over something. Are we forgetting we have faults of our own and that (most times) is it us who needs the attitude adjustment / perspective change first?

When we get into the habit of making motherhood/wifehood as a whole, out to be a drag, a burden, a weight on our shoulders, that it takes away from other joyful things, that it constantly drains you physically/emotionally, and we continue talking about it like that often; we should really re-evaluate our perspective, because unless I missed it somewhere, that’s definitely not what the Lord says.

Is it really worth it, to (purposely or not) point out the struggles a mother and/or wife could endure more than you point out the joys she will endure? Yes, there are certain challenging responsibilities for everyone, of course, but the gift itself of having a child, or the blessing of having a loving husband is just that; something to praise the Lord for.

The Lord is going to challenge us, this is one of the many ways we will grow and learn; by allowing Him to shape us. (read Jeremiah 18:1-6)

The habit of thinking you deserve a reward because you made a good dinner, or you deserve X Y and Z because you were doing a nice job with something is not a good habit to make, because ultimately, we don’t really deserve anything. If we first, fix our perspective to doing our work as a mom/wife to glorify the Lord, we can then evaluate where the actual issues are occurring in those places, if there are issues.

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Let’s Question Our “Wife” and Our “Mother” Perspective: Do we have a healthy mindset?

1. Is your mindset on the responsibilities that come with being a wife negative?

  • Are you primarily focusing on struggles?

  i.e All the mundane inconveniences, how tired you are while doing these responsibilities, the day’s time frame not working in your favor, focusing on what you could be doing instead, and so on…

Do the all the responsibilities you have as a wife make you joyful, or are you often wishing you could be doing some other joy-fulfilling thing instead?

2. If our mindset on our wifely responsibilities is struggling, how can we fix this?

  • Read scripture; Proverbs 31, Genesis 2:18-24, Ephesians 5:22-33, Colossians 3, and 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 are good places to start!
  • Pray for the Lord to open your eyes to the joys and blessings He has given you through being a wife, and for peace knowing it’s His will to be done, not yours. 
  • Ask your husband what he sees, what he thinks you could do better with, and ask for some ideas on how to do better. Maybe even find counsel amongst others in your church community if necessary, who will pray with you!
  • A lot of times we don’t even know how often we make comments like these, so maybe even ask your husband if, or how often he hears you say these things or anything similar.
  • Expect to put in the work, as things don’t often happen over night. Don’t just stop at praying.

3. Do we have a negative mindset when it comes to our motherly duties?

  • Are you primarily focused on struggles?

i.e All the mundane inconveniences, how tired you are while doing these responsibilities, the day’s time frame not working in your favor, focusing on what you could be doing instead, and so on…

Do the all responsibilities you have as a mother make you joyful, or are you often wishing you could be doing some other joy-fulfilling thing instead?

4. How can we fix this? It’s quite the same as before really:

  • Read scripture; Proverbs 31, Psalm 139:13-16, Psalm 127:1-5, Titus 2:3-8, Proverbs 14:1-2, Proverbs 22:6, Deuteronomy 6:4-7, are good places to start!
  • Pray for the Lord to open your eyes to the joys and blessings He has given you through being a mother, and for peace knowing it’s His will to be done, not yours.
  • Ask your husband what he sees, and what he thinks you could do better with. If you can, ask your kid(s) if, or how often they hear you say these things or similar things, just in case it is done more subconsciously than you think. You could also again, find counsel amongst people in your church community, if necessary, who will pray with you!

Even if we’ve read the scriptures before, and feel like we’ve got a Godly perspective on being a wife/mother, we can still have an unhealthy view of our day-to-day responsibilities that come with being one; unless we keep ourselves in check with that and start truly taking in what scripture says, and not just skim over the top of it.

If you’re struggling with something as a mother or as a wife, I highly encourage you to seek your help from the Lord; rely on Him, communicate with your husband, and find counsel amongst your church community, if necessary. However– and I will be blunt– do not use a struggle you have as a reason to go complain and make jokes, because you’re seeking people’s attention and for them to validate/affirm your feelings on the matter.

I encourage you to refresh your memory on what the Lord says about wives and mothers, and reset your mindset. Especially, if you find you have often said similar things as mentioned above or created a habit to think along these lines!

Then take a look at all the issues and struggles you have. Are they all still there? Are you still getting irritated with your loved ones often, and are you still playing the blame game? The running theme for moms and wives I’ve heard for forever it seems, is “The wife is always right.” Then on the flip side, “The mom is always burnt out.”

Guess what, we will never always be right. No one is right 100% of the time, so throw that theme away, right now. Also, if you find that you’re always a “burnt out mom” is it actually because of the responsibilities of motherhood (or wifehood) draining you and putting weight on your shoulders, or is it because of your mindset and how you view those responsibilities that’s burning you out and weighing you down? Have you been trying to take things on without relying on the Lord? Where do your priorities lie, and what are you allowing to use up your time?

I disagree with the common assumption that kids = less time. We have the same amount of time with or without children; It’s what you’re doing with your time, and where you’re setting your priorities. If you’re struggling with getting priorities in the right places; read scripture, pray, and discuss how to prioritize your family with your husband!

Priorities being in order and a perspective change goes a long way if you’re burnt out 24/7 and unable to find joy in where the Lord has brought you– this is a great place to start when you find you are struggling and having issues in some places of your life.

1 Corinthians 10:31 ESV “So, whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God.”

In scripture and what the Lord says, is where we can find the best encouragement and peace in our times of struggle, but I encourage you to look into more. Don’t stop with what I’ve added to this post! and if you’ve said these things or even feel guilty/defensive after reading this because you’ve been in some of these habits; I just encourage you to pray, repent, forgive, move on.

Evergreen Rabbitry

Evergreen Rabbitry: Pricing + FAQ 

Since starting this Rabbit journey, we’ve personally had experience with the “expensive” and the “cheap.” We’ve seen Rabbits (here in Washington) go from, $15 (lowest we saw with a pedigree) to $175 and heard of some around $700 for their show quality. With that in mind, we had to narrow down what we would do with ours. In our Rabbitry, we are focused on breeding quality Standard Rex Rabbits that can be, and are raised for meat. Meat will be the main purpose we have them for; that and they make great garden fertilizer! We’ve discussed it, and we have set a price for our Rabbits that we feel comfortable with at this time, and hope others will be too.

As mentioned above, we are focused on raising meat for our family, first. Therefore, we won’t be selling too many litters. The plan is to be selling around 6-12 Rabbits a year (or about 1-2 litters), to primarily pay for their feed costs. This set amount, of course, will depend, and vary, on how well our does do and how big the litters are. Below is a little FAQ and the pricing we have set for the future litters/rabbits we won’t be keeping, to hopefully make it easier when your family is thinking of taking one of our Rabbits home to your own homestead!

When we first built our 2 hutches

Pricing: Updated January 2022

  • Pedigreed Rabbits: $50 
  • Non-Pedigreed Rabbits: $45
  • Meat Breeder Trios: $120

2 does, and a buck (Pedigrees are included, but also optional)

FAQ:

Deposits, Returns, and Pick Up Day:

  • Deposits: 

If you have chosen a specific Rabbit that you want placed on hold for a later pick up date, we can do that! But we ask a deposit be placed of 50%— half the total purchase price— to hold the Rabbit and secure your spot for it. The deposit is not needed for the wait list; only when you have chosen your Rabbit and need to have it put on hold.

  • *Deposits are Refundable* We understand that buying an animal can be a big commitment. So, if something comes up and you can no longer take the one you have on hold, we can refund the deposit for you!
  • Online Deposit Transfer Options:

Zelle, Venmo, PayPal, and Facebook Pay.

Rabbit Pick Up Day:

  • Pick ups will be done at public locations only for the safety of our home, family, and animals.
  • Location options and scheduling can be discussed with me via private messages through our Facebook Rabbitry page!
  • What you will need and what the Rabbit comes with: Each Rabbit always comes with a small bag of transition feed (pellets) to help them adapt a little easier. The one thing we do ask of you, is that you bring a carrier (box, cage, kennel, etc) to hold the Rabbit during your car ride home as we don’t recommend holding it by hand during it’s first car ride, in a new environment; potentially causing stress on the animal.

Returns: 

We do not accept returns. We make sure that we only sell the healthiest, best looking Rabbits from our litters.

Which is why we encourage you to research before you buy! Rabbits can take time to get settled in; new place, new food, new friends maybe, new water even! Rabbits can be sensitive to environment changes, so we encourage you to give them time and make it as less stressful as possible if it seems the Rabbit is not yet settled in. If you have any questions after bringing your Rabbit home, we are always here to offer our help and any informative resources we know of!

Cottontail (when younger)

When it comes to the care of our Rabbits and selling; We will only ever provide healthy, well taken care of Rabbits, as this is how we treat all of our animals. We will never sell a hurt, unhealthy, or even aggressive/unsocialized Rabbit to you. We strive to keep our communication clear, honest, and straightforward– especially when it comes to getting one of our animals a new home. We unfortunately know what its like to be on the buying end of that stick (no honest communication), and it’s not fun for anyone! We keep all our animals as healthy, and safe from predators as much as we can. However, we also understand that even though it’s a rare occurrence with well taken care of animals, sometimes things happen and animals can get taken by a predator, or even develop a health issue regardless. 

Pedigrees:

  • Pedigreed Rabbits come tattooed with their pedigree ear number (on left ear) that is listed on the pedigree paper. Please note they come with a paper copy, but I can also email a copy of their pedigree as well.
  • If the pedigree is ever lost, contact me with your name, and the Rabbit’s ear number and I should be able to get you a copy no problem!
  • The Rabbit’s pedigree paperwork information and their tattoos, cannot be changed after leaving our care.

Lastly:

Updates on litters and what Rabbits are available, will be posted to our Facebook Rabbitry page: Linked here!

Any further questions on buying a Rabbit from our Rabbitry, please contact me through our Facebook Rabbitry page!

Thank you!

Blog, Evergreen Rabbitry

“Start Up Cost and Break Down: Raising Rabbits For Meat”

First snow with our Rabbits.

Start Up Cost: (Housing, Food, Animals, Misc.)

So, obviously because we had never done this before, there was a “start up” cost to get the items needed to begin raising our Rabbits. Building the hutches, getting the feeders/waterers, making the nesting boxes, and getting a small animal tattoo kit (for the pedigreed rabbits)— that all cost us around $520 total. My first “Rabbit Hutch Post” has a cost breakdown and a supply list, if you are also looking at building your own hutch! (We did 2 hutches, but they have slight differences when compared to each other. They can both be found in the Rabbitry section or in Archives). The 5 Rabbits themselves (3 does, 2 bucks) cost a total of $395.

However, please note, pricing for the actual animal can change with different locations, breeds, breeders, etc. A lot can vary with that. I did still want to add it though, so you can see the exact cost breakdown of our Rabbitry’s start. We also have all of our Rabbits pedigreed. That can too, change the pricing.

We have this book- good info for beginners!

Food Cost, Per Year: (Hay, Pellets)

Per year with 5 Rabbits (including the 3-6 months we will have kits during a year) it costs us about $340 dollars for their hay and pellets. The way we have it worked out is, we sell the litters from one doe, while the other 2 does litters we keep for meat purposes. Out of the 3 does we have, selling 1 or 2 litters from the one, a year, (with an [rough] average of 6-8 kits a litter) we will hopefully be making the money back to pay for all their feed costs! Making it so the rabbits essentially pay for themselves.

Doing it this way, will also be more efficient for our current amount of space! Right now, we don’t have enough room to have more than 2 litters going to the freezer at a time, so we had to plan it out carefully. This feed cost, does not include all the scraps from garden, and the pasture time we hope and plan to give them during the Spring and Summer. So with that in mind, I’m interested to see how this may change (or not change) our feed costs at the end of this year.

Our buck, Blackie (one of two).

In total, we did everything at about $860, not including the $395 it cost to buy our specific Rabbits ($1,255 to be exact with that).The only yearly cost will be on the feed, which is the $340, but again, should be made back and paid through selling a litter (or about 6 rabbits a year).

How Much Meat Will We Be Getting?

We are a family of 3, with #4 coming in a few months for reference. On average, does can have 6-8 (although some can have up to 14!) kits per litter. For our current size family and space, we will breed them anywhere around 2-3 times a year— depending on health, and quantity of course. The rabbits will give (an average) about 4lbs of meat, per rabbit. We will be getting, hopefully, around 96-128 lbs of meat per year from our litters.

This for us, means we will not have to spend as much money on our chicken meat, because we will be trading our chicken, for rabbit meat this year! I will update you on this and if we even saved money with that, at the end of 2022. We still plan to eat chicken meat, as we do still like it, but I want to try the trade off this year to see how it goes for us and to see if we can save any money at all, by doing so.

Also a good book! Has some different housing designs as well!

Breeding Begins Now!

We bred all 3 does today (January 7th) to get some litters in February. This breeding is mainly as a “trial run” to see how they all do! We are hoping for healthy rabbits; the does and their litters! Two pairings were switched, since my last posted update, as well. I had one doe who (on her 2nd time now) seemingly hated being bred with our solid black buck, so I decided to try switching bucks, and it worked! She was still not in love with the process, but was much calmer! I had 3 “fall offs” with everyone so I’m hopeful for good results.

Pairings:

  1. Solid chocolate buck x Broken castor doe #1
  2. Solid black buck x Broken castor doe #2
  3. Solid black buck x Blue otter doe

We have decided to wait for the second round of litters to process any of them for our meat, as well. That way we can get a good handle on the first time breeding and litters. If everything goes smoothly, the next round of litters should be around June sometime!

Updates to come! February 7th is the due date!